RECONCILING "GOD WANTS ME TO..."
WITH THE OVERALL REALITY OF LIFE
WHAT DOES GOD REALLY WANT?
God wants us to "know joy", be happy. "God's work" for us is to individually do that which creates the greatest happiness and life effectiveness in our lives. The rest is about utilizing those abilities gained from doing "God's work" (and to know that that work will bring us additional happiness). Although contribution could be included in this category, once one has done God's work, one derives good feelings from contributing to other human beings and their well-being. There is no "instead of" - there is only the "must" of doing God's work AND the benefit one is then capable of giving to others. It would be foolish for a man to lose net happiness because it is pushed out by doing too much of the optional add-ons to happiness from contributing to others. Why make oneself less happy in order to make others happy? Are you not, at least, as valuable? (See side bar on "Self-Sacrifice".)
1st: God's work (including taking necessary care of oneself in all the dimensions)
2nd: Everything else
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In the church, a person is told that "what God tells you to do you should do, as it is what will make you happier."
If God "says", through a messenger, to contribute to the world and assigns you a specific calling that takes 50 hours a week and it ruins your life, emotional well-being and physical emotional well-being, and causes emotional damage to your spouse, do you think that means that you would be wise to do that or would you use your God-given higher brain to assess what to do? Wouldn't you inform the messenger of the problems and renegotiate and/or question the validity of the message from the messenger? [If you chose such service on your own and let the hours expand to create the same problem, wouldn't you apply your brain to solving the problem, instead of letting it continue? What if you thought, and misinterpreted, that God sent you a message in some indirect way and you decided that you must do it and it was very damaging, wouldn't you question the message instead of being a passive, "obedient" recipient?]
Don't you think God wants you to do what is best for you and would, if he was informed of your situation, never expect you to do anything that hurts your happiness in the long run? Instead, He would honor what he said: "Man is that he might know joy" - and he would have you do whatever leads to greater long term happiness - and He would tell you, of course, don't do that job to the extent that it harms your happiness!!!!!!
Some people who do not yet have the ability to take a 50,000 foot level view in order see how to balance what is of the most value in life might take the "God tells you" statement as a mindless obligation and command. They would, of course, be misinterpreting it and making it into an absolute, period - and if they made it into an absolute, based on the results, the evidence would be that they would not be thinking it out. Some people would use the "God tells us statement to justify the inappropriate sacrifice unthinkingly, and then carry out that sacrifice even to the extent that they let it run their lives, to their great cost. That is what our archetype Daniel does, lowering his happiness by letting what is outside run him, instead of his running his own life - wouldn't God rather have him run his own life, for sure???
Yes, God would ask you to contribute to the world, of course, as it helps make others happier and better off, which is what He wants. And clearly God is very enlightened and knowing. And that means he must also be compassionate, for no enlightened being could be otherwise.
Since that is true, that means that he wants you to be happy and would be clear that you should not do anything that would lower your net overall total long term happiness. He would certainly put the top priority on your being happy, since that is his clear objective! He would not ask you to "sacrifice" your happiness in exchange for something that would bring you less happiness. (Duh!) (In other words, he would not ask you to give up 10,000 units of happiness in exchange for something of, say, 1,000 units. Yes, both are good, but he would always see that it is not appropriate to spend, say, metaphorically, $10,000 to buy $1,000.)
God would want you to first take on your self care and to do what would assure your emotional well-being - that is clearly first and most important - after all emotional wellbeing IS what "happiness" is - and he certainly wants you to be happy. (Happiness = emotional wellbeing, of course!)
It would be ludicrous to take the "God tells us" statement as suggesting that you should "serve mankind", at the expense of your emotional well-being. That makes no sense. (See the Self-Sacrifice piece.)
And hopefully you would see that that makes no sense and not take the command as a child might, in his naivete and inability to think logically at that age. You would, instead, actually look at it and apply it to your life in context with the other value areas in life. (It is not a contradiction that God gave you a higher brain and that he wants you to come to your own conclusions as superior to some generality justifying otherwise, such as "well, God knows best" so therefore do not think...
Surely you would know that He also would not ask that you contribute to others to the extent that it causes you not to earn enough money for your family.
Although not in dollars and not so easily measurable, he would, likewise(!), not ask us to serve mankind at the expense of taking care of yourself and your family's happiness!!!! That would have us not serving ourselves and our own happiness in in order to serve others and their happiness instead!!!.
That would be completely nonsensical!!!
THE FALLACY OF HUMILITY AND PLACING ONESELF BELOW OTHERS
Another enabler of making a bad choice in life is the misinterpration of humility and 'worth'.
"But I am of little worth compared to others" is what some people think. (They think that is what humility is - but they have clearly misdefined it. They have forgotten that the purpose of humility is to have a balanced point of view so that one can run his life better for more happiness. Too much ego or too little worth are not what God would want for us, as they get in the way of good judgment and behavior.)
"I am of little worth compared to others" is also a false conclusion from God's teachings. He does not value, or love, any one human being any less than his other children, so you cannot possibly, logically be of less worth!
That would be a ludicrous conclusion, yet people make it unthinkingly.
He gave you a higher brain for a reason: so that you could survive better and be able to look, see, and decide well about what to do to create greater happiness for yourself.
By all means, be "obedient", follow God's laws and principles as they are that which will bring you greater happiness. And do it with perspective, using your higher brain to determine what is the true meaning of the "orders" (what he tells you to do).
In short, again, think! Use your higher brain to understand and to then make the best decision.
And then your life will be balanced and far, far, far happier than you would be traipsing through life mindlessly!
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Note that a person stuck on duty and obligation and absoluteness in "obeying God" may use the opening statement to justify his overextension in the area of contribution. And that should not be tolerated, as it is bad thinking, as if one is still a child not using his higher brain. God and you are "partners" for your own good. And he would not want you to be an unthinking automaton, a puppet of absolutism.
