THE PATH TO CHARACTER
WHERE CHARACTER SERVES YOU
The prime test of character is that one thinks out, decides, and then does "what works". Character does not tolerate a violation of the "what works" reality principle.
IT'S ABOUT WORKABILITY, NOT "RIGHTEOUSNESS"
While a person with character is kind to others and to oneself, he/she will not allow "unworkability" and "poor results" into one's life. He/she avoids causing harm to another, even if it "shouldn't be" harmful to another - he/she operates out of observing what is or is not working and stops what is not working.
IF YOU DO NOT MAXIMALLY DO THIS...THEN...
Since the purpose of character is to produce the most good, the most desirable results, you cannot possible do well on the path if you don't "learn how to do well". (Duh!)
But many people still think they are of good character (in a prideful sense), when they are still stuck in that which makes them "not powerful", such as in keeping dysfunctional beliefs or behaviors in place. They must, instead, learn with urgency what works and how to work it to create the best results. Any path without that as a first priority is not a good path. (See and follow The Only Sure Path To The Greatest Life - Using "The Life Power Process". The Life Power Process For Having Life Work is entirely dependent upon learning and then using that knowledge to correct what is not working - and not leaving in place anything that is disempowering oneself - nothing!
NEGATIVE TALK AND EMOTIONS
He or she avoids negative talk and negative emotion, not just for one's own good, but absolutely for the good of others, for no human being can avoid the harmful effects that will be incurred by the negatives - those negatives are, in our primitive fast acting mind, "threats", which, in turn, trigger the primitive mind to begin to search for more negatives. [While any person who experiences that negative input can intervene and reduce the damages, there is always a signal that hits the emotional brain before the rational prefrontal cortex higher brain can react. It is best to accept that even a rational or seemingly non-emotional human being WILL be negatively affected. It is NOT an option to not stop this negative talk and negative, destructive emotions (anger, antipathy, fear, and such).]
As humans, we will find the road to character to be paved with assuring that one's own needs are taken care of, for then, and only then, does one have the freed up energy to focus on higher level self-rewarding behaviors. There exists in a considerable amount of the literature on character some key myths. Those are all based on the idea that "somehow" we must have good character, almost magically achieved and as a matter of pride, and, in that myth, exists the idea that we should be "selfless" somehow. But this would defy the realities of the world and the universe and all the development of mankind.
While mankind did evolve to cooperate, it was as a means to have us survive better. Kindness was part of it. Agreement of principles and rules among the small tribe was part of it - indeed, even a fear of others who have different values or live differently developed, for those people could be dangerous. Today, we will still see people who do not understand this reality of evolution and still practice the fear and even anger at others of different tribes or beliefs. To function well in this life, one must learn that many of these old "default" ways of thinking and feeling no longer apply.
While some people find themselves as "hating" prejudice against a race or a religion or sexual preferences, they are themselves practicing prejudice and lack of understanding or accommodation to others. They are "blinded" in their emotion and are not operating in understanding and knowledge nor employing "what works" best to solve the problem.
The prejudice becomes generalizing and feeling against the "poor whites in the South" and/or "the religious bible believers in the south". A person of character will, instead, seek to understand and then to seek a better solution - and he/she will not spend time complaining or doing hateful talk about "those people!"
There is no moral judgment of those who have basically good character but have not develope it to the point of not accidentally or unknowingly causing harm. The discussion here is only to make it clear that the path to character can only be followed if one learns sufficiently about how all human being work and about how to avoid harming others or oneself.
OUR "PATH" IS NOT "THE" PATH
We get caught up into thinking and justifying that our path is the "right" path or "the only path". There are about 10,000 variations of religions, innumerable philosophies and philosophical disciplines. It is highly unlikely that even one of them is 100% correct. And if there was one, then all of the others are wrong.
Since we are fallible human beings who can only learn so much and who are likely only to learn what is on the default path of our lives, we are not likely to reach the point of the highest and purest character of all. No, we just seek the best we can - and, perhaps surprisingly, we can achieve a very high level in life even before we reach the pinnacle of character, when we have just reached being basically "of good character".
WE ARE "NO BETTER" THAN ANY OTHER PERSON
As a human being, no matter of what race, each of us is "just a human being" - a "vessel", in a sense, into which goes knowledge which is processed through our "thinking" and then creates ways of living life. While some human beings have learned more, and, indeed, do "better", we cannot look down on those who have just not yet "learned better". If we are to be of good character, we will not seek to vilify or pity another but we will seek to add to others what we can effectively add that will have them learn to live life better.
This is a core principle of life - and you should know and understand it to the point where it is built into you and is part of your character: There Is No Fault is the core basic principle. Though it sounds hokey on the surface, it is imperative that you look for yourself to determine it correctness or not - as it will be a major, major component of your character - as it will make your life work better AND at the same time benefit others!
THE PATH TO CHARACTER MUST INCLUDE "THE VIRTUES"
The dictionary definition of virtue is "behavior showing high moral standards". Since the meaning of moral is generally expanded to include ethical, I think it is a better distinction to place ethics at the apex as it is based only on "what works" (i.e. produces the best results overall) and since morality often includes making people "wrong" or on your being "good", as a moral concept. The distinction may seem worthless, but I believe it is essential, as ethics trumps morality, even though morality is attempting to be ethical, but slides into righteousness and doing harm. See Ethics And Morality - One Is "Practical", The Other Is Trying To Be Practical.
"Love. Kindness. Justice. Service. Virtues are the very meaning and purpose of our lives, the content of our character and the truest expression of our souls. For people of all cultures, ethnicities and beliefs, they are the essence of authentic success.
Virtue means power, strength, inner quality. Virtues are the content of our character, the elements of the human spirit. They grow stronger whenever we use them. As a six year old once said, “Virtues are what’s good about us.”
Each of us has both Strength Virtues we can rely on, and Growth Virtues that are the challenges of our character. A lifelong learner never gives up hope that at any moment, we can awaken a virtue by choosing to live it. The Virtues Project™ is all about bringing virtues to life."
Note that many of these are obvious, but what we miss often is that it is not virtuous to be "not powerful", to not develop oneself to be strong enough to create the desirable results in life AND to do no harm. If we are inadvertently doing harm, we are not being virtuous, for the ultimate virtue is attaining the most good for ourselves and other and "doing no harm". Virtue is about the "doing", not about being "righteously virtuous" while one is doing harm to oneself or others and/or not doing what is of the most good. To leave in place, and not immediately correct, any beliefs or behaviors that are causing harm is the opposite of being virtuous.
THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN INTENTION AND ACTUAL RESULTS
A person of good character would not say as an excuse or justication "but I meant well" or "I had good intentions".
He/she would only acknowledge the truth of what happened and if those actual results were not good, he/she would simply figure out how to correct whatever it takes to get the good, desired results.
Good character does not make excuses or focus on being righteous or smart - it is just about results!!!
GOOD CHARACTER CANNOT INCLUDE VICTIMNESS
Being a victim of circumstances or others throws one off of the path. If you are "at the effect of others" or even living for approval by others, you are living as a victim. To have good character you must be "at cause", not "at effect", in life. When you make this distinction and swear to never allowing the "condition" or "belief" of being a victim, you are on the path of character. That path includes only taking 100% responsibility in your life (a concept you've heard over and over, but many have not done) and not making excuses, justifying, or evading.
INTEGRITY IS THE OPPOSITE OF VICTIMNESS
The trainee soldier who fell asleep while on duty but denied it a number of times until confronted with proof was kicked out of the Marine officer training program. Another trainee who feel asleep while on watch took full responsibility for the infraction, was penalized for it, and remained in the program. Those people who tell a false story but only admit to it when confronted with indisputable proof are not to be trusted and should be excluded from being in your life or being an elected official or in any position of trust! No matter how much they proclaim they are for what is good for you, they are self-seeking at the core.
You must have integrity to be of good character, as you well know. And part of having integrity requires that you keep your word to yourself and to others. Note that an integrous person's word is law in their world - they follow through even with their own internal promises - if you are not doing that you are "out of integrity" and not on the path of good character. (See The Integrity Factor - Maintaining Being True To Oneself, Living In Full Power.)
YOU ARE NOT EITHER BAD OR GOOD FOR YOUR CHARACTER
Character is not about getting credit for "being good" or about feeling shame when one is not being of good character. Either one of those are not realities, as they are simply based on mythical made up concepts.
All that matters is the power to create great results. That's it. Period.
SO IS A "GOOD, GOD-FEARING, CONSCIENTIOUS" PERSON OF GOOD CHARACTER?
Not necessarily, and definitely not by definition. While it is generally good to be conscientious or religious, one who is such might not be of good character.
Again, the criterion is that the person's beliefs and actions are such that they can powerfully create great results in life.
I once, probably unwisely, told a very religious individual that he was not in integrity (as he couldn't keep his word to himself and was totally manipulated by others' approval). It bounced right off of him, as he could justify that he was a good believer and that he tried hard - but he failed to see that he did not complete what it takes to be of good character in terms of having true power.
THE ROAD TO CHARACTER
I recommend utilizing it.
I do however disagree (or see it differently) with the "moralistic" part of the argument. I don't agree that "we don't live for happiness, we live for holiness." No, we live for happiness (and survival), as dictated by the "unholy" process of evolution.
And "the core of that understanding is that we are flawed creatures" does not, I think, accurately describe the truth, as there is a seemingly "pejorative" (badness) judgment in it. I could be wrong and perhaps it is just a different way of saying that we are not without limit (of course!!!) and that we are "driven" by amoral "forces" until we are taught otherwise to think at a higher level. "We know what is deep and important in life, but we still pursue the things that are shallow and vain" is accurate for most people, but it is not a flaw - it is just a lack of knowing better. "We imagine that spiritual and moral needs can be solved through status and material things" is true of many people, until they have learned more.
I think that the truth is that we are pretty darned magnificent products of evolution who just aren't any further developed than we are (and that is not a flaw!) and that we have the basic capability to develop the power level to create a great life, through thinking with our higher brain, through diligently learning life, and through correcting, correcting, and correcting to make life better and bettter and better. And it is not for "holiness" but for happiness (though feeling holy could be a means to feeling happy, of course). (Brooks does indeed acknowledge "although we are flawed creatures, we are also splendidly endowed." Amen!)
Anyway, it is a great book to read and to think about. But, please, do not leave your thoughts unexamined nor your conclusions unimplemented, for the purpose of reading and studying this book is to get results, in terms of actually implementing and doing all of what we learn and decide from such books!!!!!
"Character is built in the course of your inner confrontation. [If you don't confront, you will NOT develop good character!!!] Character is a set of dispositions, desires, and habits that are slowely engraved during the struggle against your own weaknesses. [Weaknesses are from not knowing yet how to be powerful enough to effectively use self control (see my book on it).] You become more disciplined, considerate, and loving through a thousand small acts of self-control, sharing, service, friendship, and refined enjoyment." [And, while service is helpful for one's character and/or happiness, it is not enough to achieve good character - and it can often be an impediment if one thinks it is enough to make oneself "good".]
